Success is one of those objective words. What success means to me may be completely left field from what success means to you. But more importantly than the meaning of success is how you think and feel about it.
Our relationship with success has a lot to do with whether or not we’ll ever feel successful. There are no set in stone quantifying measures to determine if someone is successful or not. It’s a very personal definition and, again, what makes one person feel successful could be the complete opposite of what makes someone else feel the same way. One of the official definitions of success, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is: “favorable or desired outcome.” So you see, the definition in itself is very elusive because only we can dictate what is a favorable or desired outcome for our own lives.
For me, success is an all-encompassing word. It means happiness in all areas of my life that make it worth living. It’s not having to worry about the minute details that won’t matter 5 years from now, but rather always living a meaningful life and working towards goals that add to that meaning. It’s exemplifying my purpose of being a good person and positively impacting the lives of those I come into contact with. Success means being in a position to do what I want, when I want, and living a full life with those I love. That’s what success means to me. When I think about that very personal definition, it fills me with positive energy. It makes me feel congruent and at ease. I have a very positive association to success and even though I'm always striving to
improve my life in various ways (as I believe there's always room for growth), I feel successful every step of the way.
I want you to take a moment and really reflect on how success makes you feel. Does the thought of success put a smile on your face, or create fear in your heart? When you see other people who you perceive to be successful, are you happy for them or does their success make you feel inferior? Are you motivated by the success of others, or are you jealous of it? Do you believe you can be successful, or does it create anxiety because you think only a select few will ever truly make it?
Whether or not you consider yourself successful is very much dependent on your thoughts about success, followed by the associated feelings and then ultimately the actions you take as a result. This is a process called the cognitive triangle – thoughts lead to feelings which lead to actions. If your thoughts about success are detrimental to begin with, such as “only lucky people are successful” or “successful people are egotistical snobs,” for example, then the feelings you have about success will be self-defeating and the actions that follow will steer you away from your own success. I should add that most of what I’m describing right now is subconscious unless you bring it into the light and make it conscious. People will subconsciously act in a way that deteriorates their possibility of being successful if they feel success aligns with something that’s out of character for them, or if they don’t believe they have what it takes to get there in the first place.
Our thoughts and feelings have so much power! They are the starting point to any actions we take in life. While some think they are just an observer in their own lives like a puppet on a string, others know their outcomes are 100% dependent on their own actions. The trick is to get to the root of the thoughts and feelings that fuel your actions because that’s where the real magic happens! Change your thoughts and see the transformation through your feelings and actions.
If you go through this process and realize that your thoughts and feelings about success aren’t in alignment with what you want for your future, reach out and let’s work together to rewire those neural pathways in your brain so that you can start living a truly successful life – whatever that means to you!